The past Three Days: An Apology.

OH HI THERE I ACTUALLY HAVE A REAL LIFE?

No, probably not. Yesterday I took the day to clean the room & do laundry, so obviously relaxing was called for in there. There's never enough time. The day before that I'm sure at some point I could've done something creative, though would really would have rather murdered someone so I decided against it there. Thankfully I'm no longer an angsty teenager & I just got over it by hanging out with some friends.


Wait real life? no fuck that back to fake talk.

Today I'm going to tell those of you who are still using windows XP how to spruce up your taskbar. I'm sure most techy people already know this, & to an extent so did I but it didn't amaze me any less.

First step, right click on an empty area of the taskbar, if you've done this right a menu will load up with a few simple selections (properties, lock the taskbar, etc)

Next, mouse over the Toolbars selection, you should see a few more options (Quick Launch, Desktop, Windows Media Player), one of which might even be selected.

Click on new toolbar & select a folder you frequently use (maybe your music or video or gay pornography stash) & click ok.

Finally, if it looks all weird you can move them around by right clicking an empty area of the taskbar & unlocking the taskbar (assuming it's locked like it should be).


That's it! If you did it right it might look a little something like this.


xoxoxoxox

Day Four: Another Essay.

Seriously? Another bunch of paragraphs about shit we don't care about? Awesome.


I hate Valve. They've always managed to piss me off, first it was the original Half Life not running on my PC past the intro of the game. Then it was the fact that the man who introduced me to Half Life died only a year before Half Life 2 was released. More recently I've been quite annoyed at how shafted us Half Life fans have been recently. The Orange Box was nice, especially for Portal & HL2 Episodes 1 & 2. Since then Valve developed a new game. They had this splendid idea to make a team-based multiplayer zombie survival shooter & by god they sure as hell did it. Left 4 Dead was released & suddenly Valve had one of the hottest sellers of the Xbox 360.

On PC you can play Valve games online with Steam for free, on 360 you've got to be an Xbox Live GOLD member. Not a big deal, until you realize just how much extra online content is left out. With a computer you can change the zombies voices to the voice of Pee Wee Herman yelling or laughing. You can turn the Tank into Johnny Bravo or change the Witch music to that of the Breakfast Machine in Pee Wees Big Adventure.

Okay so that's not much right, mostly modifications that don't really effect gameplay, right? Wrong. All L4D updates get put on Steam before L4D. All Downloadable Content is free on Steam whereas through Live you'll be spending anywhere from $10-20 for a new campaign. Oh, & you don't like that glitch? Well, it's fixed on PC, but the update for 360 is coming out in a month. So aside from shafting people that don't play the games on PC, what else is bad about this franchise?


I'm going to try & be as un-biased as possible here because I'm the type of person to turn coat really quickly on a subject. I really loved the first Left 4 Dead & Left 4 Dead 2 was indeed great, but it seems like any other Valve project (aside from an alternate ending to Portal that is only available on Steam) was immediately put on an indefinite hold. Now I understand that making money is the name of the game, but seriously? Is this shit going to turn out like the Madden games? Every year they'll release a new one with slightly better whatever? Count me the fuck out, Mr Newell. I mean really, I don't mind all that much that those of us who choose console over PC get a complete shaft when it comes to games from Valve but I mean, shit. At least give us the same freedoms as those on PC. If Valve says that Steam is free for all users, why not make their games compatible on Live with a free Silver Account? It's practically the same & a lot easier than another slightly feasible idea of porting Steam servers onto XBL. Though in reality that'd turn into something like Steam 360 & would only cater to those of us playing on Live & when you start to consider how little that is it's just not worth it.

But why not the other reason? I guess it's because Microsoft wants to make money & everything, but I mean shit. Nintendo Wii has a disc that they mailed out (for free) to Wii owners for free streaming Netflix capabilities. PS3 also has a free Netflix service, however on 360 you must be paying for a Gold Account in order to use Netflix.

But this isn't about 360 or Micro$oft or any of that crap. This is about why I'm not a huge fan of these games. For starters, people with %0.01 mental capacity for Half Life or Half Life 2 play L4D & act like jackasses. Many of my friends included are just not very good & if in real life there was a Zombie Apocalypse they'd be fucking dead.

Next up we've got getting incapped or pulled by a smoker. 9/10 people will immediately start bashing the controller like they're playing a 2-D fighter & have just been stunned. I'm sorry guys but that doesn't work in this game. Be patient & play with people who don't suck.

Another common problem is people not being able to see the screen while playing split screen so they sit right next to my 360, directly in front of the television. I have no problem with you sitting at home blowing cigarette smoke directly into your disc tray, but this isn't your home & it most certainly isn't your 360, show some fucking respect & wait until you're not in the middle of the game to light up. More importantly, get away from the expensive technology while you're doing it. I have no problems with people smoking in my room, but I do have a serious problem with people blowing smoke into my 360 & my external Hard Drive. This is more of a personal problem though & has less to do with the game.

Back to reasons why this game fails. Well: Let's see;

It seems to promote people yelling & talking a bunch of shit to a screen, which is totally fucking lame in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with yelling DAMMIT, or FUCK in agony after dying for the umpteenth time, but it is really fucking annoying when you shit talk each special infected you kill. On top of that when the game gets louder so do you & it really hurts my fucking ears. Chill the fuck out & just play.

Another good reason as to why this game is annoying, though this reason is quite specific to XBL. On Steam it is more than normal to go on & have a game with intelligent adults who know what they're doing & understand that staying in a group is probably a good idea. On XBL you run into a bunch of ignorant 14 year olds who shout nigger every other word & run through the map like their feet are on fire. Oh well, that shouldn't be a problem, at least the other two in the group are.. Oh wait, they ran off too. Well great, now I'm all alone & there's three separate hoardes coming since the other players decided to just high tail it through the map. Way to go dickweeds.

I hate 14 year olds & I hate Left 4 Dead.

xox

OH SHIT, TODAY I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

OR: Day 3 how to make something from nothing.

Here's a quick tutorial on how to clean functional glass art (BONGS).

First you will need a few things, the major important ones are rock salt or sea salt & 91% isopropyl alcohol. The less important things are paper towels, a plastic baggie, & a rubber band.

First things first, Separate all the pieces & put a couple scoops of rock/sea salt into the bong. Next cover up the hole where the downstem goes [this can be achieved by either wrapping a baggy around it & tying it off with a rubber band, clogging it with paper towels, or by even just using your thumb] & pour in about half a cup of rubbing alcohol.

The next thing you're going to want to do is cover the top hole with something like paper towels or your hand & then shake vigorously for 30 seconds to a minute [or until that filthy thing looks new again]. Finally, you rinse it GOOD. I mean this, you do not want to inhale rubbing alcohol it is NOT GOOD FOR YOU & it tastes like ass on top of that so be sure to rinse, rinse, rinse & smell-test it before going to use it.

Next you're going to want to clean the downstem. Take a plastic bag & wrap the downstem up in it then pour salt & alcohol into it & you guessed it shake vigorously & rinse. If you want to clean your bowl as well you can put that in a bag, fill the bag with salt & alcohol & go from there, just make sure the salt will fit in the bowl first!


Okay that's it for today. More tomorrow. Bye.

Day Two: A Short Essay About Dickwaving.

No seriously, this entry is to convey one thing. I love Beatmania IIDX.

Anyhow, for those of you who are new to the game there is a whole hell of a lot for you to learn & you will never learn all of it unless you've got aspies so why don't you just read up on it here & Here

Basically the idea of the game, if you're too lazy to click links is to make music with seven oversized keyboard keys & a turntable. The result is a shitstorm of grey, red & blue lines that will give you a seizure if you're prone to it. No rly. Turn your speed modifier up & crank that shit to eleven. Beatmania has got a slightly bad rep in the states as the only US release was the dreaded Beatmania for Playstation 2. Of the five decent songs there was another 30 or so terrible songs including but not limited to covers of Celebration, Toxic, & You Really Got Me Beatmania kind of failed to deliver. Not to mention G4 decided to not even research the game which resulted in Adam Sessler calling Beatmania a "Guitar Hero Ripoff". Dear Adam Sessler & G4 television as a whole: Beatmania IIDX 1st Style (the next generation version of the original 5-Key Beatmania) came out in 1999.

So with twelve years under their belt the game itself has overcome many changes. Starting with my least favorite change is the revamping of the level system of the game. In the beginning there were three modes of difficulty: Light 7 - 7 Keys - Another. The highest level of difficulty in the game as far as numbers go is a Flashing 7 which is (you guessed it) a Level 7 that flashes. At the release of 10th Style Konami introduced players to Level 8. Next came IIDX 11th Style, or more commonly known as IIDX RED. Flashing 8s were introduced things started getting really crazy difficult.


& then.. Just as everyone was getting settled in with the new IIDX Konami dropped IIDX 12th Style Gettin Some Slpash Beats HAPPY SKY! Oh, what's this? Light 7 is now Normal? Well, at least 7 Keys is.. Wait why does it say Hyper? Okay, whatever.. LEVEL 12?!?! What.

Now, I understand that the level system was in need of a revamp, but they didn't need to go as far as to call Light mode "Normal". The game originally was just a step up for 5 Key players, now it's the biggest Bemani game they have so it's natural they'd want to make it easier for newcomers. Thanks for that when I was playing 6th Style, only had Hi Speed 4 & the game was very unforgiving. I'm glad theres beginner mode & normal mode before you even get into actually playing the game. It's stupid, I really shouldn't hate on a game for making it easier for newcomers buuuuut... The newcomers that come in will occasionally ask an old timer for a song they should try, well, since level's 6-8 are all the fucking same to me I'm not really sure which song you should pick.

All ranting aside, most of the new changes are phenomenal. The new interface is much smoother & easier to read than the original that was chunky & flashy. Not that I don't love the original IIDX Styles, I just find that playing anything from 11th & up for an extended period of time & then switching to 5th or 6th Style it's going to be much more difficult because of the archaic software. Either way, they were beautiful once & the new look is a well deserved makeover in my opinion.

Unfortunately, console versions of the game only allow for so many songs. The console version of Beatmania IIDX 16th Style 'Empress' solved this problem by coming with two discs, the second disc consisting of nothing but revival songs from each IIDX Style. However, 16th Style CS is the last Style the Playstation 2 is going to see & currently I don't know where they're bringing it to next.

That shouldn't stop you from giving it a shot though, through eBay or Amazon you can get yourself the controller that was shipped with Beatmania US, the only good thing to actually come of that style. The buttons work much better than the original Konami of Japan model since they don't stick, nor do they need to be modded heavily to be used. The turntable on that controller is kind of tight though you can very easily open it up & loosen the screws for the turntable without causing any damage to your controller.

Getting the games themselves might run you a pretty penny which is kind of lame so you should go about using the power of the internet. Remember kids: most computers these days come stock with a DVD Burner...


Though I'm not advocating Piracy, I'm advocating a second chance for Beatmania in the states. If that means that people have to do things that aren't legal to play songs they like instead of stuff by Moby they should have that freedom. Not that the games in Japan aren't relatively cheap, I can only imagine that through the typical next gen systems debacle you can find the games used or even new in game stores for a decent price. But how would importers make a profit? So you're spending 60-70 bucks for a Playstation 2 Game that's going to rape you?

Alternatively you could get yourself that controller, one of these & this. You might be spending $70 bucks, but you now have access to Beatmania 1st through 16th Style so who cares right?



Either way, what I'm trying to say is that I love this game & felt like writing an essay about it. Fuck the corporate world, b'yatch.

DAY ONE SUBMISSION ONE.

HELLO.



YOU JUST GOT TROLLED.


Your turn, world.

Fuck the date, let's start today.

Screw it, let's build momentum. Let's do something creative everyday. Anything creative. Make a mix CD for someone & put effort into the theme or idea of it. Draw custom case art & do whatever the fuck you want to it. Christ, make videos of yourself doing something you excel in. Creativity is not limited, it's anything you want. Write a catchphrase or even just a line of text that you like more than anything.

How hard is it to get others inspired? Let's find the fuck out. Get this shit growing & make it global, let's see what people everywhere think is creative. Honestly, if you can do a handstand for a solid five minutes record that shit, do whatever you want. It's all a creative form of expression. My first project will be finished by the end of the day, what about yours?

Thanks for caring.
xox

An irrelevant idea that nobody will care about or follow through with because I'm not even entirely sure that anyone actually has read this thing ever

K.

Basically I had a thought that was kind of stupid & I didn't really know how to form it. The idea would be to use blogs to go for an entire month of creativity. Every day you can do something new & each day you do not need to use the same media. For example, on day one you can go outside & take pictures or plant something. Anything creative at all, it doesn't have to be difficult or overdone it just has to be your personal self expression. If you want everyone to know that you're difficult & overdone well, then I don't want to know you.

For serious though, it can be anything you'd like; From writing or recording your own music to writing stand up comedy routines or even using video as a form of expression. The only limitations you really have are what you possess physically [ie: instruments, paint, cameras, etc] & your own imagination. You do this every day for a month & by the end of it imagine everything we could have created in that span. The average month is roughly 30 days long, if we get 20 people to participate by the end of that month we'll have 600 varying pieces of artistic self expression. Let's say half of the people choose to write & record songs, that's 300 songs, or roughly 16 CDs at 18 songs a piece.

Overall I believe it would be a very positive experience for everyone involved, artistic self expression is a very important part of what makes us human & we should use our noodle a whole hell of a lot more. If anyone is actually with me on this one please get in touch with me by leaving a comment here, tweeting at me, sending me an email or something just do it because if this could work it could turn into a really cool project. Ok holler at me later doggs pcce