moving day.

i've moved to: http://dontsweatthestereo.wordpress.com

big things happening soon.

Building an invisible station for my invisible hype train OR MORE BIG PLANS WITH SHITTY RESULTS.

Here's the deal. I'm sick of lacking creativity. I'm really sick of not being able to "express" "myself" on the "internet". I mean really, how hard could it be?

The plan right now is to try & make some kind of playlist or something. Not exactly a mixtape or DJ mix, but something, something fun. Something bouncy & happy & obnoxious. Something for the people to play in the clubs when the nights about to peak. No not really. Honestly, I don't know what the hell I'm going to be doing. Mostly research for the time being.

If anyone wants to help, or submit any tracks or do anything awesome like that, then by all means, hook a nigga up. If not get the hell out of my way, it's time to make the homies say "Yeah."


OK GET OUT I'LL TRY & FILL YOU IN ON ALL THE DEETZ LATER GET THE FUCK OUT GO GO GO GO.

HARDCORE UNTIL I DIE.

Forever ago I was introduced to these lovely mixes. Since then I've always had a soft spot for the headache inducing, hoover heavy, happier than a pig in shit genre of techno we all know as HAPPY HARDCORE.

So this entry will be all about that bullshit that makes anyone who's actually interested in techno look like a faggot & anyone who acts like they're too cool for school is about to get fucking taught. It all started in an IRC chat room several years ago. I was introduced to the Bonkers mixes by a friend & from there it was, well, all down hill. At the time I was a DDR player & music with such energy really appealed to me. Maybe it was the hoover-heavy hooks, or even just the constant drone of the kick drum. Whatever it was, I was fucking hooked.

Through the years my tastes have changed moderately; For example, from Hardcore I went to Breakcore by way of Venetian Snares. You've heard me go off about Snares several times now, so I'll keep it short: Snares was everything that hardcore was missing in my opinion. His music was dark, angry, sometimes violent, sometimes hilarious. It was all so wonderful back in these days. I'd spend hours in front of my computer getting high & listening to techno.

As the years progressed my musical influence did the same. I began drifting from the music I'd been listening to for more popular music that would make girls like me a bit more. Since I was a fat piece of shit, this didn't actually work & the only thing it really helped me with was to fill my hard drive with weekly new releases from varying pop punk bands. Who cares? I continued to expand my taste & eventually became the hipster you see before you today.

So why the fuck am I blogging about Hardcore Techno? Shouldn't I be discussing the many differences between Tobacco & Black Moth Super Rainbow? Maybe I could be reviewing a recent show, or even just a new record. Why am I writing about techno? Because I fucking love it.

Seriously. Techno is where the fuck it's at & I'm not fucking kidding you. The Bonkers mixes really are the pinnacle of hardcore, as far as I'm concerned. The synths, kicks, hooks & sampled lyrics just bring an energy about me that I'm not sure is healthy, but god damn if it doesn't make me a bit more productive. Maybe it's because I installed a pair of robot ears, or maybe it's just because I really am a cock-chugging sissy faggot. Whatever the reason, I fucking love this shit.

No really.

So, I kind of don't really know exactly where to go with this. I could go on & on about how hardcore DJ's put so much into their sets, or how almost every few months another Bonkers mix is released, or how I fucking LOVE HARDCORE. HARDCORE UNTIL I DIE. THE FUCKING END.

Here's a picture of my favorite hardcore DJ; Scott Brown!

File's done!

Good morning internetterverses. Welcome to the Social Networking Revolution. As of right now, my twitter is linked to this blog. This blog, along with my twitter are also linked to my tumblr account [dsts.tumblr.com]. What that means for those of you reading this [I know, there are so many of you reading this that I should be posting about this] is that if you'd like to read a more robust version of my blog you can change your bookmark to HTTP://DSTS.TUMBLR.COM from there you can enjoy a much nicer looking blog, more blog posts & more importantly some much needed comedy.

Okay, so now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about something very near & dear to my heart; Headphones. I fucking love headphones. There's no question about it, headphones are the shit & that's that. However, I've noticed a disturbing trend that's been emerging somewhat lately. People are paying more than $25 on a pair of headphones because they're bright & colorful. Yes, Skullcandy: I'm looking at you. I don't care how you try to justify it, there's no reason for anyone to be paying that much for anything that's not professional quality (ie: Seinheisser, Sony, etc) & in my opinion the plastic pieces of shit that Skullcandy makes are not professional.

Realistically, if you're worrying about sound quality you really should be looking into high quality mp3s & a good sound card. For the most part people are getting the standard bitrate mp4s from iTunes & using their iPod/Phone/Pad to play them which is fine, but if you're going to be paying through the roof for a pair of headphones & legal mp4s wouldn't you at least want them to sound good? Honestly, the sad truth is kids are out there downloading sub-par mp3s & mp4s with shit ass bitrate & thinking they sound /great/ because of the headphones.

Who cares?
Not I.

SONY MDR-V150 SUPREMACY.

Oh you're going to think I'm real ungrateful.

OKAY. I saw the Flaming Lips live in concert at my /least favorite place in the world/. Lupos Heartbreak Hotel, I'm talking at you & you specifically. You fucking suck. Your tickets are overpriced, your venue is a small death trap that's trying to pretend as if it's got any bit of class. You sell Bud Light in PLASTIC BOTTLES for almost $5 a bottle. I understand the idea of inflation for the sake of it being convenient for everyone, but still, nearly $5 for something I'm going to need to drink /several/ of to even feel anything? I'll just show up stoned instead I suppose.

I don't really care that the beer is overpriced, why the fuck would I, really? With the exception of going to shows I very rarely, if ever drink. It's not to say that I /need/ booze to enjoy a show, but it certainly makes being around tons of fucking people a hell of a lot easier to tolerate. The people at this show, however, I'd had to have been on heroin to even remotely tolerate the people around me. I don't hate hippies, ravers, hipsters, scenesters, or even metal dudes, but if there is one thing I do fucking hate, it's yuppies.

How many yuppies did I see at THE FLAMING LIPS? A metric fuck-ton.

I mean, I get it. They've been around for some time & obviously that means people of all ages are pretty much going to show up. I still don't care. Fuck fuck /FUCK/ the other side of 30-year-old assholes going to big shows, getting drunk, standing on chairs & couches, shouting obnoxiously to the performer on the stage. Hello, we're in the back, lady, he can't fucking hear you & I'll tell you a secret: anyone who /can/ hear you wishes they didn't. I'd tell these people to go kill themselves if it wasn't so frivolous. Seriously, I didn't think drunk driving was such a hip thing to do when you're a "responsible adult". Either way, I'm going off on yet another tangent.

For those of us who were there for the music & overall experience, it was very entertaining. My friend who took me said that they've pretty much played the same set, complete with visuals & etc the last few times he's seen them, but don't let that deter you. It was really freakin cool. Now, we're hip & everything so we like to show up /late/ to shows. We got there about 20 minutes before the Lips were about to play. Enough time to see where we could get on the floor, but it being Lupos has a GOD AWFUL layout.

Because Lupos also doubles as a dance club with DJ's & all that gay shit on the weekends they decided to spruce it up. The original Lupos might've been a pretty big shithole, but you know what, for the most part it worked as a venue. So where did they go wrong?

Well you see kids, when you used to go into lupos there was basically a line room & then the show room. The show room was pretty much just flat with an elevated stage to your right & a bar to your left. Now you enter into a large mezzanine area with couches, as well as merch booths or other stupid shit. I went to see Polysics there one time & since the show was sponsored by myspace they had computers pretty much only to go on & check your myspace. It was stupid.

The only good thing about Lupos can be accessed only from the Mezzanine. It's the Balcony area, aka the only place you will be able to see ANYTHING, if that's what you're there for. For larger shows Lupos likes to charge even /more/ money for Balcony seating almost as if they know that their venue is complete shit downstairs.

Okay, so lets go inside shall we. Alright, looks like we've got some bars in the back, three bars? okay.. Oh how cute one is a big circular bar in the MIDDLE OF THE VENUE. Okay lets just walk down a few stairs- Wait, stairs? What the hell, oh FUCK. Basicaly the way the floor goes is that there is one "dance floor" thats right in front of the stage. Before that theres just standing/sitting areas with two separate stairs onto the dancefloor. So, as you can imagine there are railings that prevent you from getting fucking anywhere.

Impossible design aside, it was still a really cool show.

Also, I wrote most of this a month ago & just never posted it. Better late than never, amirite?

look at this fucking crybaby

whatever. i really should just have a twitter if i'm going to post one line of text after deleting the whole thing.


my grandmother passed yesterday. i hope her & richard dunn hang out in heaven together.

Day Whatever: Go to hell because I am a miserable being.

Straight up wrote a whole post & then deleted it because I remembered nobody cares.









REAL TALK: I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE. HE;LP.

The past Three Days: An Apology.

OH HI THERE I ACTUALLY HAVE A REAL LIFE?

No, probably not. Yesterday I took the day to clean the room & do laundry, so obviously relaxing was called for in there. There's never enough time. The day before that I'm sure at some point I could've done something creative, though would really would have rather murdered someone so I decided against it there. Thankfully I'm no longer an angsty teenager & I just got over it by hanging out with some friends.


Wait real life? no fuck that back to fake talk.

Today I'm going to tell those of you who are still using windows XP how to spruce up your taskbar. I'm sure most techy people already know this, & to an extent so did I but it didn't amaze me any less.

First step, right click on an empty area of the taskbar, if you've done this right a menu will load up with a few simple selections (properties, lock the taskbar, etc)

Next, mouse over the Toolbars selection, you should see a few more options (Quick Launch, Desktop, Windows Media Player), one of which might even be selected.

Click on new toolbar & select a folder you frequently use (maybe your music or video or gay pornography stash) & click ok.

Finally, if it looks all weird you can move them around by right clicking an empty area of the taskbar & unlocking the taskbar (assuming it's locked like it should be).


That's it! If you did it right it might look a little something like this.


xoxoxoxox

Day Four: Another Essay.

Seriously? Another bunch of paragraphs about shit we don't care about? Awesome.


I hate Valve. They've always managed to piss me off, first it was the original Half Life not running on my PC past the intro of the game. Then it was the fact that the man who introduced me to Half Life died only a year before Half Life 2 was released. More recently I've been quite annoyed at how shafted us Half Life fans have been recently. The Orange Box was nice, especially for Portal & HL2 Episodes 1 & 2. Since then Valve developed a new game. They had this splendid idea to make a team-based multiplayer zombie survival shooter & by god they sure as hell did it. Left 4 Dead was released & suddenly Valve had one of the hottest sellers of the Xbox 360.

On PC you can play Valve games online with Steam for free, on 360 you've got to be an Xbox Live GOLD member. Not a big deal, until you realize just how much extra online content is left out. With a computer you can change the zombies voices to the voice of Pee Wee Herman yelling or laughing. You can turn the Tank into Johnny Bravo or change the Witch music to that of the Breakfast Machine in Pee Wees Big Adventure.

Okay so that's not much right, mostly modifications that don't really effect gameplay, right? Wrong. All L4D updates get put on Steam before L4D. All Downloadable Content is free on Steam whereas through Live you'll be spending anywhere from $10-20 for a new campaign. Oh, & you don't like that glitch? Well, it's fixed on PC, but the update for 360 is coming out in a month. So aside from shafting people that don't play the games on PC, what else is bad about this franchise?


I'm going to try & be as un-biased as possible here because I'm the type of person to turn coat really quickly on a subject. I really loved the first Left 4 Dead & Left 4 Dead 2 was indeed great, but it seems like any other Valve project (aside from an alternate ending to Portal that is only available on Steam) was immediately put on an indefinite hold. Now I understand that making money is the name of the game, but seriously? Is this shit going to turn out like the Madden games? Every year they'll release a new one with slightly better whatever? Count me the fuck out, Mr Newell. I mean really, I don't mind all that much that those of us who choose console over PC get a complete shaft when it comes to games from Valve but I mean, shit. At least give us the same freedoms as those on PC. If Valve says that Steam is free for all users, why not make their games compatible on Live with a free Silver Account? It's practically the same & a lot easier than another slightly feasible idea of porting Steam servers onto XBL. Though in reality that'd turn into something like Steam 360 & would only cater to those of us playing on Live & when you start to consider how little that is it's just not worth it.

But why not the other reason? I guess it's because Microsoft wants to make money & everything, but I mean shit. Nintendo Wii has a disc that they mailed out (for free) to Wii owners for free streaming Netflix capabilities. PS3 also has a free Netflix service, however on 360 you must be paying for a Gold Account in order to use Netflix.

But this isn't about 360 or Micro$oft or any of that crap. This is about why I'm not a huge fan of these games. For starters, people with %0.01 mental capacity for Half Life or Half Life 2 play L4D & act like jackasses. Many of my friends included are just not very good & if in real life there was a Zombie Apocalypse they'd be fucking dead.

Next up we've got getting incapped or pulled by a smoker. 9/10 people will immediately start bashing the controller like they're playing a 2-D fighter & have just been stunned. I'm sorry guys but that doesn't work in this game. Be patient & play with people who don't suck.

Another common problem is people not being able to see the screen while playing split screen so they sit right next to my 360, directly in front of the television. I have no problem with you sitting at home blowing cigarette smoke directly into your disc tray, but this isn't your home & it most certainly isn't your 360, show some fucking respect & wait until you're not in the middle of the game to light up. More importantly, get away from the expensive technology while you're doing it. I have no problems with people smoking in my room, but I do have a serious problem with people blowing smoke into my 360 & my external Hard Drive. This is more of a personal problem though & has less to do with the game.

Back to reasons why this game fails. Well: Let's see;

It seems to promote people yelling & talking a bunch of shit to a screen, which is totally fucking lame in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with yelling DAMMIT, or FUCK in agony after dying for the umpteenth time, but it is really fucking annoying when you shit talk each special infected you kill. On top of that when the game gets louder so do you & it really hurts my fucking ears. Chill the fuck out & just play.

Another good reason as to why this game is annoying, though this reason is quite specific to XBL. On Steam it is more than normal to go on & have a game with intelligent adults who know what they're doing & understand that staying in a group is probably a good idea. On XBL you run into a bunch of ignorant 14 year olds who shout nigger every other word & run through the map like their feet are on fire. Oh well, that shouldn't be a problem, at least the other two in the group are.. Oh wait, they ran off too. Well great, now I'm all alone & there's three separate hoardes coming since the other players decided to just high tail it through the map. Way to go dickweeds.

I hate 14 year olds & I hate Left 4 Dead.

xox

OH SHIT, TODAY I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

OR: Day 3 how to make something from nothing.

Here's a quick tutorial on how to clean functional glass art (BONGS).

First you will need a few things, the major important ones are rock salt or sea salt & 91% isopropyl alcohol. The less important things are paper towels, a plastic baggie, & a rubber band.

First things first, Separate all the pieces & put a couple scoops of rock/sea salt into the bong. Next cover up the hole where the downstem goes [this can be achieved by either wrapping a baggy around it & tying it off with a rubber band, clogging it with paper towels, or by even just using your thumb] & pour in about half a cup of rubbing alcohol.

The next thing you're going to want to do is cover the top hole with something like paper towels or your hand & then shake vigorously for 30 seconds to a minute [or until that filthy thing looks new again]. Finally, you rinse it GOOD. I mean this, you do not want to inhale rubbing alcohol it is NOT GOOD FOR YOU & it tastes like ass on top of that so be sure to rinse, rinse, rinse & smell-test it before going to use it.

Next you're going to want to clean the downstem. Take a plastic bag & wrap the downstem up in it then pour salt & alcohol into it & you guessed it shake vigorously & rinse. If you want to clean your bowl as well you can put that in a bag, fill the bag with salt & alcohol & go from there, just make sure the salt will fit in the bowl first!


Okay that's it for today. More tomorrow. Bye.

Day Two: A Short Essay About Dickwaving.

No seriously, this entry is to convey one thing. I love Beatmania IIDX.

Anyhow, for those of you who are new to the game there is a whole hell of a lot for you to learn & you will never learn all of it unless you've got aspies so why don't you just read up on it here & Here

Basically the idea of the game, if you're too lazy to click links is to make music with seven oversized keyboard keys & a turntable. The result is a shitstorm of grey, red & blue lines that will give you a seizure if you're prone to it. No rly. Turn your speed modifier up & crank that shit to eleven. Beatmania has got a slightly bad rep in the states as the only US release was the dreaded Beatmania for Playstation 2. Of the five decent songs there was another 30 or so terrible songs including but not limited to covers of Celebration, Toxic, & You Really Got Me Beatmania kind of failed to deliver. Not to mention G4 decided to not even research the game which resulted in Adam Sessler calling Beatmania a "Guitar Hero Ripoff". Dear Adam Sessler & G4 television as a whole: Beatmania IIDX 1st Style (the next generation version of the original 5-Key Beatmania) came out in 1999.

So with twelve years under their belt the game itself has overcome many changes. Starting with my least favorite change is the revamping of the level system of the game. In the beginning there were three modes of difficulty: Light 7 - 7 Keys - Another. The highest level of difficulty in the game as far as numbers go is a Flashing 7 which is (you guessed it) a Level 7 that flashes. At the release of 10th Style Konami introduced players to Level 8. Next came IIDX 11th Style, or more commonly known as IIDX RED. Flashing 8s were introduced things started getting really crazy difficult.


& then.. Just as everyone was getting settled in with the new IIDX Konami dropped IIDX 12th Style Gettin Some Slpash Beats HAPPY SKY! Oh, what's this? Light 7 is now Normal? Well, at least 7 Keys is.. Wait why does it say Hyper? Okay, whatever.. LEVEL 12?!?! What.

Now, I understand that the level system was in need of a revamp, but they didn't need to go as far as to call Light mode "Normal". The game originally was just a step up for 5 Key players, now it's the biggest Bemani game they have so it's natural they'd want to make it easier for newcomers. Thanks for that when I was playing 6th Style, only had Hi Speed 4 & the game was very unforgiving. I'm glad theres beginner mode & normal mode before you even get into actually playing the game. It's stupid, I really shouldn't hate on a game for making it easier for newcomers buuuuut... The newcomers that come in will occasionally ask an old timer for a song they should try, well, since level's 6-8 are all the fucking same to me I'm not really sure which song you should pick.

All ranting aside, most of the new changes are phenomenal. The new interface is much smoother & easier to read than the original that was chunky & flashy. Not that I don't love the original IIDX Styles, I just find that playing anything from 11th & up for an extended period of time & then switching to 5th or 6th Style it's going to be much more difficult because of the archaic software. Either way, they were beautiful once & the new look is a well deserved makeover in my opinion.

Unfortunately, console versions of the game only allow for so many songs. The console version of Beatmania IIDX 16th Style 'Empress' solved this problem by coming with two discs, the second disc consisting of nothing but revival songs from each IIDX Style. However, 16th Style CS is the last Style the Playstation 2 is going to see & currently I don't know where they're bringing it to next.

That shouldn't stop you from giving it a shot though, through eBay or Amazon you can get yourself the controller that was shipped with Beatmania US, the only good thing to actually come of that style. The buttons work much better than the original Konami of Japan model since they don't stick, nor do they need to be modded heavily to be used. The turntable on that controller is kind of tight though you can very easily open it up & loosen the screws for the turntable without causing any damage to your controller.

Getting the games themselves might run you a pretty penny which is kind of lame so you should go about using the power of the internet. Remember kids: most computers these days come stock with a DVD Burner...


Though I'm not advocating Piracy, I'm advocating a second chance for Beatmania in the states. If that means that people have to do things that aren't legal to play songs they like instead of stuff by Moby they should have that freedom. Not that the games in Japan aren't relatively cheap, I can only imagine that through the typical next gen systems debacle you can find the games used or even new in game stores for a decent price. But how would importers make a profit? So you're spending 60-70 bucks for a Playstation 2 Game that's going to rape you?

Alternatively you could get yourself that controller, one of these & this. You might be spending $70 bucks, but you now have access to Beatmania 1st through 16th Style so who cares right?



Either way, what I'm trying to say is that I love this game & felt like writing an essay about it. Fuck the corporate world, b'yatch.

DAY ONE SUBMISSION ONE.

HELLO.



YOU JUST GOT TROLLED.


Your turn, world.

Fuck the date, let's start today.

Screw it, let's build momentum. Let's do something creative everyday. Anything creative. Make a mix CD for someone & put effort into the theme or idea of it. Draw custom case art & do whatever the fuck you want to it. Christ, make videos of yourself doing something you excel in. Creativity is not limited, it's anything you want. Write a catchphrase or even just a line of text that you like more than anything.

How hard is it to get others inspired? Let's find the fuck out. Get this shit growing & make it global, let's see what people everywhere think is creative. Honestly, if you can do a handstand for a solid five minutes record that shit, do whatever you want. It's all a creative form of expression. My first project will be finished by the end of the day, what about yours?

Thanks for caring.
xox

An irrelevant idea that nobody will care about or follow through with because I'm not even entirely sure that anyone actually has read this thing ever

K.

Basically I had a thought that was kind of stupid & I didn't really know how to form it. The idea would be to use blogs to go for an entire month of creativity. Every day you can do something new & each day you do not need to use the same media. For example, on day one you can go outside & take pictures or plant something. Anything creative at all, it doesn't have to be difficult or overdone it just has to be your personal self expression. If you want everyone to know that you're difficult & overdone well, then I don't want to know you.

For serious though, it can be anything you'd like; From writing or recording your own music to writing stand up comedy routines or even using video as a form of expression. The only limitations you really have are what you possess physically [ie: instruments, paint, cameras, etc] & your own imagination. You do this every day for a month & by the end of it imagine everything we could have created in that span. The average month is roughly 30 days long, if we get 20 people to participate by the end of that month we'll have 600 varying pieces of artistic self expression. Let's say half of the people choose to write & record songs, that's 300 songs, or roughly 16 CDs at 18 songs a piece.

Overall I believe it would be a very positive experience for everyone involved, artistic self expression is a very important part of what makes us human & we should use our noodle a whole hell of a lot more. If anyone is actually with me on this one please get in touch with me by leaving a comment here, tweeting at me, sending me an email or something just do it because if this could work it could turn into a really cool project. Ok holler at me later doggs pcce

Let's talk.

I've always been terrible at keeping this thing current. Too much happens in such a short span of time that when it's time to write again I'm overwhelmed. This summer that's going to change. Armed with a netbook, wayfarers & a phone capable of jotting quick notes as refrence I fully intend on reviewing or at the very least writing about all the shows I'm going to from here on out.

Tomorrow night at Tazza is Kokomo whom I am very excited for. I love Cordey. His music is energetic & really dark most of the time. Similar to Venetian Snares although in my opinion Kokomo is definitely noisier. For sure that's a good thing. Excellent music to just jam out & rock out & hit people to. Not to mention Cordey has been my buddy since I first started going to underground shows in ProvvyDance. I can still remember the first time I set foot inside Narwhal Arms, Cordey's then home/my favorite venue ever. It wasn't anything special & I was quite early, so Cordey explained that when they say things like 9pm they end up meaning 10-10:30pm, though being the nice guy that he is he allowed me to take a seat inside & wait for everyone to get started. Since I'd already done my small tour-de-bars in downtown I figured I'd hang out.

The venue really wasnt much, just a large room as a performance space with random types of art all over the place, generally just really random. I could tell right then & there that this was my place. After a while I became a regular fixture there for the shows that I liked, until of course everyone left & it became what it is today: an empty shell of what once was fantastic parties.

But you can't call it a party, it's a show, but to most people it really is just another party. I guess that's what separates me from everyone else, I'm actually there for the music. Not to say most people don't show up for the music or anything, but it really seems to me that doing blow is just so much more exciting than being sober & actually watching the performers. I guess I'll never understand why the line for the bathroom in most of these places is longer than ever, but that could just be because I'm totally & completely against that shit.

Oh well, whatever it's not drugs I'm talking about, it's music.

During the time I knew of Narwhal Arms I saw many great bands, from EAR PWR, to Juiceboxxx, to Javelin to Future Islands. Every show was better than the next & even the last show ever performed there just left me wanting more. There's something really special about performances like that. Bands that have that kind of effect are really lasting, at least in my mind. I'll never forget the night we formed a mosh-pit to Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus immediately before Juiceboxxx tore the roof off that place. It really seems as if every show I go to is the best show I've been to & it's wonderful.

Keeping everything positive can be tough, but with the right music scene it's not at all hard. It's not about fitting in or being a part of anything it's just about music. Fuck anyone who believes you've got to dress, act & look the part in order to be a huge fan of that genre. Either way, it's always been music for me. For my entire life I've been interested in every aspect of music, from the bare essentials needed to perform & record music to watching my own tastes age & define themselves. I remember many years ago when I was into pop punk, or even earlier when I was into "Gangsta Rap". One could say I was quite a trendthumper, but I'd have to disagree. It's always been what I was exposed to that I enjoyed. Why else would I hate what's being played on the radio these days, even if it is trendy? I mean shit, Lady Gaga is fucking blowing up everywhere & I would pay an exorbitant amount of money to slice her throat, so I mean what's that say?


Oh right, it says that I'm one of those faggy ass indie fucks who only likes bands for the first few listens & then forgets all about it. I guess you'd be right, but overall you're wrong. All music old or new holds a place in my heart. I will always remember what I enjoy & what I used to enjoy. Ironically it's always been the same, really, it just had to come full circle for me to realize it.


Goodnight moon.
xox

MATH THE BAND POST ABOUT MATH THE BAND ABOUT MATH THE BAND ABOUT MATH THE BAND ABOUT MATH THE BAND ABOUT THE BAND CALLED MATH THE BAND.

Hello friends,

Today we're going to take time out of our day to talk about Kevin & Justine, more formally known as Math the Band! One part Andrew WK the other Dope-Ass-Casio-Core-JAMS.

Truth be told, up until last year I had no real idea who these dudes were, other than the fact that they were casiocore awesomeness similar to Atom & His Package, though, having no way to hear their music I just kind of forgot about it, until Foo-Fest. They were one of the three or four bands I went to see during Foo Fest. Since they played an early show they were actually the first band of the day for me. It really was a great experience. I've seen plenty of bands with a large amount of energy perform, but theres something different about Math. Lots of dancing & jamming & having a blast. I was instantly hooked.

I'm not big on local music, mostly because what's local to me is straight up trash. West Warwick & Coventry really arent known for their electronic music culture & thus it ends up just being nothing but terrible pop-punk/screamo shit that I listened to when I was 16 & severely lacking positivity. Either way, the second Math's set was over I was ready for the next show. That's how it always happens, I guess. If a band is good enough to leave you wanting more you'd better believe you're going to their next show. I can't really remember when or where the next Math show was, but since the beginning of this year I've seen them as many times as possible. Each show better than the last.

The only problem I suppose with these shows is that in Providence it seems like people just don't start dancing until the headlining act... Maybe it's 'cause they're not drunk enough by the first set? How that's even possible is beyond me, it's not like shows in Providence ever start on time or anything...

Either way, this isnt about that, this is about how awesome MATH THE BAND is. Currently on Tour with MC Chris they're dealing with a certain level of criticism that really should never have applied to them. You'd think nerdcore rap & nerdy casio music would go hand in hand, but it seems like the MC Chris fans really dislike the fun that Math brings to the table. Fighting fire with marshmallows Math the Band on twitter re-tweets the messages of hate for people with actual taste [outside of what adult swim tells them to like] these nuggets of comedy are fucking hysterical. Either way, it makes me sad.








UMMMMMMMMMMMM I kind of lost the initiative to write so I'm going to end this there. I love you Math the Band.

Upcoming overhaul.

Gonna be fucking with the layout of this thing, updating the sidebars & figuring out some sort of scrobbler, that way I don't have to type in all the artists I like. On top of that I'm going to be making a layout that's a bit easier on those of us with those cute little netbook things.

On top of that there will be much more content as I will be reviewing a few albums that are near & dear to my heart in the coming weeks. On top of that; KOKOMO is playing a show saturday night & I am all too excited for that, maybe I'll stay sober this time & remember to actually remember it all this time. I'm also considering opening this blog to more of a 'this is what I like' kind of thing since that's all this shit is anyway.

The [REAL] Problem with Music

Okay so every now & again I feel compelled to express my opinion on certain genres of music. 9/10 times this turns into a bullshit argument amongst faggots who are total shut-ins. No really, it's actually a serious problem. People don't seem to understand that musical taste is definitely a form of one persons opinion. Hell, I barely understand this because I hate people who have no taste. But I guess theres a difference between actually listening to real music & listening to japanese garbage from video games. You don't speak japanese, don't try & act like you're so super cool by listening to the shit. I have no problem with Bemani music, when I'm playing Bemani games. That's the only time I want to hear it. I do not care to listen to this music when I'm not playing these games. Why? Because I actually have tastes that expand outside of my hobbies.

So who'd'a'thunk that saying that rap is good music & a valid form of expression would cause an argument? I mean really, rap is so popular these days, you'd think that most people might be sick of it but at least they wouldn't start bullshit arguments... Think again. You've got to imagine that people who can't even appreciate rap are definitely ignorant racist shut-ins & it's true. Music might be opinion, but it's definitely fact that those who hate rap are racist faggots.

I mean really, who else would look at a car pulled over by a cop & say (about the driver) "Oh, what a surprise he's black." Then again, these are the same people who believe smoking is bad for you but eating nothing but fast/junk food is A-OK. Sorry dudes, while my lungs are getting black your arteries are getting clogged the fuck up. That's okay right? Your arteries only allow blood to flow to the heart, right? I mean, sure you need your lungs to breathe, but you most definitely need your arteries for your entire body to work. So while I'm puffing on my cigarette I'll remember that all the junk food you idiots eat is killing you just as fast as my cigarette is killing me. We all have our vices, so nothing makes yours any better. It is terrible to think about how most people are so ignorant as to not even realize what they're eating IS BAD FOR THEM.

But that's what you get when you let the internet & video games educate you. That's not the point of this post though, the point of this post is that having any sort of conversation about music that doesn't begin with "I LOVE METAL & SUCK DICK" is going to end in an argument. & to me that's a huge problem. Why can't we have our own opinions anymore? Why is it that most people these days seem to think that while your opinion is invalid because it's an opinion theirs is bible fucking law. I don't get it, is the world really that full of ignorant scum? Fuck it though dude, these are the same people who went to see MC Chris with Math the Band opening & decided to hate on Math the Band. Hell, they wouldn't be at a rap show if it wasn't sponsored by Adult Swim anyway, so why in gods name should they like the opening band? Even if that very same opening band has more talent in their index finger than MC has in his entire body they're still gonna hate it because it's unfamiliar to them.

The familiarity thing really kind of bugs me, it's like if you haven't heard of it then it sucks. Honestly, I wouldn't believe it if it weren't the truth, but I was there. I saw Math the Band & left halfway though MC's set. I was upset, five people were dancing for Math, /everyone/ was dancing for MC. I get it though, but fuck, Math the Band is way easier to dance to. I guess it's because faggots will listen to their false idols even if they tell them to jump off a cliff. MC Hesh says "Dance, monkey, dance."

I'll put another example on the table, I have a friend who really likes Ronald Jenkees but absolutely hates rap. Uh... Dudes, Ronald Jenkees is a self proclaimed instrumental rap/hip-hop artist. His music is specifically designed for Rap. However, rap music is repetitive, but Jenkees isn't? I don't get it, hell, the few songs that he does rap on are more repetitive than most radio rap out there today.. There's nothing wrong with that, I mean the guy's autistic for fucks sake. But still, he's a white dude who actually has mad respect for rap & hip hop, that's a very rare trait these days. Countdown til someone states that you have to be autistic to enjoy rap.

Either way, all the excuses are the same; "It's repetitive" "I just hate the people who give it a bad name & try to act like that" "The image it portrays sucks" etcetc. I'm sorry, do you people have a problem with fun? I mean really, I don't even /drink/ & I enjoy songs about getting drunk in the club. Fuck man, I hate going to clubs too, how is it possible for me to even like these things? I mean, the music doesn't relate to me in the least bit but I can still enjoy the shit out of it. I still hate most of Lil Waynes music & I really hate Soulja Boy but shit, at least those dudes are out there living it. The american dream of being so in debt to the music industry that you pretty much have to be a dancing chimp pumping out the same repetitive songs after the other. Who cares? If you've ever read "The problem with music" by Steve Albini you'll know that the music industry is basically the biggest pyramid scheme ever, but really, without it what would we have? Everyone has to get paid, since money is the only real motivator in this country & I have no problem with that, but the reason for all this garbage 'rap' is because it's what the general public wants to hear. Not many people care to hear about living in poverty & selling crack, not to mention the Notorious B.I.G, Tupac & BIG L are all dead. Not to mention, they're still selling records even after their death, where the fuck is that money going other than the greedy ass music industries pockets. Whatever though, they're dead & there's not much anyone can do about that. Either way, if Big & Pac were still around do you think for a second that this club music that's disguised as rap would even exist? Fuck no, people would still be dying over what they listen to.. Is that really something worth getting fucking shot over? You prefer the east coast to the west coast therefor you're going to get fucking killed. Yeah dude, Rap definitely should have stayed the way it was in the 90's.


Oh well, I guess you're the same type of people who only played GTA to run people down & kill people with no consequence. & I suppose that's my whole problem with the thing, it's obnoxious. Everyone I know says that the golden age of rap was the mid to late 90's & I really don't see how they see it that way. Maybe it's because that's when rap was more dramatic & real, I mean shit, people were getting shot & killed then! God forbid rappers these days not want to get fucking shot, so they write songs about getting drunk with friends, having sex with women (something most people who just sit around inside all day & play video games & barely interact with others know nothing about) & smoking pot (another thing shut-ins believe is worse than what they're doing to their bodies with fast food).

SO FUCKING WHAT? It sells! That's what the industry wants, they want to move units & not have to worry that their latest investment is going to bomb & never be heard from again, I mean shit, they just signed him for 5 records after all. I guess people just don't want to be depressed anymore & they just want to listen to positive music about positive things. I mean shit, you're right, rap should totally be about robbing people, killing people, being poor, having to fight to survive & selling drugs. That's what the general public definitely wants to hear, right? They want to hear suffering & misery? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe that. People want to have fun & be positive. The only reason the industry has progressed this way is because it's what the general public wants. So fucking what if you don't want it? The industry doesn't give a fuck about you. No really, do you think they really care that one of the million trillion billion people who bought that album didn't care for it? Fuck no, they're too busy bathing in a bathtub full of money.


Fuck it though, you people suck. No really, if you lack appreciation for real music & then proclaim that the soundtrack to Silent Hill is the best thing ever you need to go get killed. Or alternatively you can move to Japan where you will live in complete misery. No really, the fact that most Japanese people really don't like Americans even if you can play IIDX on doubles or you can pass 40's on Pop'n you're still going to be hated in Japan. It's a fact! Japanese people just really don't like Americans. Sorry, you're going to have to get a new life goal, faggots. Or I mean, you could move there & be picked on until you're basically forced the fuck out.

Whatever though, grow up idiots.

I LOVE YOU BLOG FRIENDS. YOU'RE ALL TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Now open to the public OR how I am going to fuck with the layout of this thing OR o hay world out there.

OKAY SO WE'RE JUST GONNA STOP FOR A SECOND HERE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THIS.

Today is Quit Facebook day, okay, easy enough who needs a stupid social networking site that doesn't give a shit about you or your privacy? So we're just gonna click on deactivate your account here in the account settings page... Okay! We're done, great let's just x out... Oh wait a minute what's this? A new email! Yay! Oh, bummer it's from Facebook telling me I've deactivated my account.. Well, I suppose I should read it, maybe they want to do something cool like give me a million bucks to come back, or maybe even just allow me to post animated gifs & not have my privacy fucked with.. Let's see then.

Hi Michael,
You have deactivated your Facebook account. You can reactivate your account at any time by logging into Facebook using your old login email and password. You will be able to use the site like you used to.
Thanks,
The Facebook Team


Now is where it really rubs me the wrong way. Does Facebook keep everything or does it just keep your account & URL? The answer is everything. From your pictures, videos & notes down to your status & other wall posts (ie: youtube, etc). I don't understand this concept I guess, but when I say that I'm going to quit & deactivate my account I shouldn't have it so easy as to just log right back in like nothing happened.. Or, should I? It's a good feature but if that's the case the same thing can be done by just logging out & going away forever. My epiphany in the whole situation is that deactivating the account is silly, but not using the site anymore isn't.

But is it really that easy? Since Facebook integrates itself into all the major websites when you favorite or digg or whatever the hell you people on the internet do on those sites, your Facebook is going to be updated. So even after you've quit Facebook if you don't change the settings on those other sites your page will remain active. I just want to know how we're even people anymore at this point? Sure it's social networking, but if you don't want it anymore you've got two routes: Log out of Facebook but continue to post because other websites are still integrated with your Facebook OR you can "deactivate" your account which is the same thing as logging out except only Facebook the conglomerate corporation are the only people that can see it & since we've found out Mark Zuckerberg or whoever doesn't really give a fuck about our privacy what's going to happen to that information?

Oh, I don't know



Overall, I don't mind Facebook only knowing what youtube videos I happen to enjoy, it can be useful or even the least bit entertaining for anyone who doesn't have me hidden yet, but what's the point of saying we're going to quit Facebook then? Because we can simply log back in & be done with it, they have our information anyway so what the hell is going to happen when /everybody/ leaves? As is everyone who wants a Facebook needs to have a cellular telephone with a paid plan (prepaid phones dont work with it) so that means that through this they (being Facebook's x-many staff members) can pretty much pinpoint your location through that.

So what's going to happen if we eProtest? I mean really, if everyone leaves Facebook for something new what's going to happen? I'll tell you what, Facebook is just going to sell your pictures & information for affiliate marketing right before cashing out & abandoning their offices.



Whatever though, who needs it, the internet is the internet is the internet. Web 2.whatever needs to get fucked though, just because more people are on this place doesn't mean they deserve to have it so easy as to find everyone they know in one place & converse with them. I remember a time when the internet was a place to learn about music & generally just get away from reality & everyday life, not interact with it.


& on that note I promise I will start writing in here more because I want to because I can. Cha cha cha I love the internet. Oh & there's a really good mixtape for free right here & here


THANXOXOX
FOR
LISTENING

oh you mean this blog isnt abandoned?

let's talk turkey bloggers. it's been something like two months since i last updated & fucking forever since i even said anything relevant up in this bitch. BUT i guess you can say i'm moderately inspired to try & start this thing back up. not having a job or vehicle offers so much artistic freedom like that.


ANYWAY I've seen & heard a ton of really bad ass things lately & let's go on a journey through what I like because fuck it it's my blog & I'll enjoy what I enjoy, you're just reading it.

Article one:
Tobacco - Fucked Up Friends 1 & 2



Some excellent audio/visual work from Black Moth Super Rainbow's Tom Fec, alternatively known as Tobacco as well as Beta Carnage & others. The videos consist of about 45 minutes or so of some slick jams from Fucked Up Friends as well as demo/early versions of songs off Tobacco's latest "Maniac Meat". In addition to the music is clips from several movies, telemercials, pornographic material involving aliens & workout videos. Tobacco has stated his music should have a sense of paranoia to it, but I think that he's a pretentious jerkoff & who cares what I think? The music, however is spot on & the visuals are entertaining as hell [what I'm trying to say is hallucinate to this shit.], I can only imagine that these videos would be really good to have if you were throwing a party or even just had some friends over for a night of drinking.

Where to Buy? to the best of my knowledge both of these DVDs were sold on various Tobacco tours & were limited to a certain number of copies. Check eBay or Craigslist if you're feeling lucky, but don't get suckered into paying an assload.



Article two: PROVIDENCE IS STILL AWESOME ALWAYS.

Load Records Presents [in 2004 lol] Pick A Winner!


Load Records is an independent eletronic/experimental/noise/what-have-you label based in Providence, RI. This dvd is a collection of videos from bands & artists on that label from Lightning Bolt to Paper Rad to White Mice. This really is a great video that can only be described as TV-Drugs, or drugs for your television. Certain videos stand out a bit more than others, I'm looking at you "My Favorite Homepage"



Unlike the previous audio/visual chicanery this DVD still is available from Load Records website. Use google because I'm lazy or work on finding a way to fix the internet so that everything obscure & awesome just comes direct to your desktop with no typing involved. kbye.





SIKE. More awesome shit about providence because providence is the best oh yes better than all the rest. LETS TALK LOCAL ACTS THAT /DONT/ SUCK.


Kokomo: Previously Ben Fino-Radin & Lyndon Cordero Lopez but more currently just Cordey & his gear. So yeah, kokomo is a one man shitstorm of dope jams all day. Dark, harsh, industrial beats so heavy they'll make you sick but so fun you'll start punching bitches in no time. Kokomo shows typically involve one of the following things happening; Destruction of perfectly good reading material, mosh pits, broken equipment & GOOD TIMES. KokoCordey really just loves to put pretty much everything he can into his performance running through the audience or moshing. I can't really call it moshing though, I'd rather call it interpretive flailing.

Math the Band: Since the start of this year it'd be safe to say I've seen math the band something like 5 or 6 times & I honestly can not wait for the next show. Currently on tour with MC Chris the Duo of Kevin & Justine rock the fuck out with casio jamz that would make Atom & his Package look tame [no I really mean this]. I've always had a love affair with the type of music they make. It's fun, it's poppy, driven by synths & guitars & lots of positivity, it's just what I want to hear. There really is something to these guys, because whenever & where ever they play I make damn sure to be there & rocking the fuck out hard enough for the whole crowd. Fuck, I can't even dance & I still manage to make that shit work when I'm hearing those tunes.


ARTICLE THREE BECAUSE SHIT I'VE BEEN WRITING FOR A WHILE.

THE FEELING

Juiceboxxx, AC Slater & Amy Douglas present one of the dopest jams I've heard in a long ass time.

No really, this shit is fucking excellent. It's like they were to take every cheesy-awesome-techno-dance-dance-revolution song & mash them together & they came out in 1993 with C&C Music Factory & Zombie Nation & everything amazing ever. No for real. Try to imagine a rave where not only is Mickey Mouse jammin' on top of a speaker, but Super Mario is macking it to bitches on the dancefloor. It's so generic that it's 100% perfect. The combination of early 90's rave music, the incendiary backing vocals of Amy Douglas & the one & only JUICEBOXXX really make this a party jam for the whole summer. Put the windows down, crank it up & bang it everywhere you can. One day when I'm a super fabulous fantastic DJ kind of guy I'm going to open a club where I play this song at least once a night every night because it's that good. DEAR 92 ETERNAL YOU GUYS SHOULD TOUR SO I CAN COME ROCK THE FUCK OUT.

Either way, seriously sick jams as well as some really awesome remixes by Luna-C, Udachi & Kastle each one holding it's own with the general feeling of the early 90's rave scene. Do yourself a favor & be on the lookout for this because you want it. Oh yes, you want it.








AND THAT'S IT GTFO WHOS TAKING ME ON TOUR WITH THEM NO ONE BECAUSE I'M NOT EVEN A ROADIE OR A GROUPIE OR ANYTHING WITH AN IE AT THE END OK LATER I'LL BE BACK AT THE END OF THE YEAR TO TELL YOU WHATS GOOD [NOT RLY]

eat your face off.

I haven't updated here in a while, mostly due to lack of a good place to listen to music/lack of listening to music. I guess you could say I got bored with listening to music & needed to get adventurous & go to shows, you were right, but at the same time it made merely listening moderately tame. The most exciting things about certain songs are about how performers climbed on me or threw trash cans at the audience. Blah blah blah nobody cares, let's rage.


Oh & on another note, if you're reading this site from my twitter & work in the biz, get me a job.

Thanks.

xoxox

formspring.me

ask me anything [about music] http://formspring.me/ohgodhowdidthis

Zoop 2 as seen through the eyes of my girlfriend

This is my ZoopII experience.

I will admit I had never really listened to the Mountain Goats prior to meeting Michael/Juggatard. I had heard of them/him years ago but the few people who had suggested it were desperately trying to be indie and obsessed with bright eyes & similar, being a metalhead I had little interest in primarily acoustic music. Having grown out of my RAWR METAL ONLY phase, Michael's impressive collection of tMG appealed to me and changed my opinion. The month leading up to and the the drive to ZoopII, tMG was all we listened to. Having spent nearly every summer of my life in upstate New York and attended hundreds of shows/events/etc, I believed it would be an average trip. As it were, seemed more like an adventure when it was over.

The ride up was stressful, and our directions lead us there on obscure routes. We arrived later in the day after it had begun to lightly rain, and set up. Upon successfully setting up the ridiculous tent that hadn't been touched since last year's camping trip we began attempting to relax after being cooped up in a car with a smelly, flaky hippie for over 6 hours. We walked around the farm and Michael told me all about his experiences and memories of ZoopI. Forgive me, I'm terrible with names and from this point on, anyone I met will be referred to as I remember them. Which probably isn't their name.
After a trip to the local deliverance-like town store [where they sold beer, tires, old cigarettes and light bulbs] we started drinking and organizing our belongings. Around this time I met Colin and his girl, both of which were super awesome and some other people, including a very serious guy with a porno mustache, a blond dude with a camera who didn't seem to like Michael much and of course, John himself if only for a brief moment. By this point, nearly all of the beer we brought from RI is gone and we're drinking the Pabst we got in hickville. I've made friends with the farm cat.

I don't remember much of Samson's performance, other then noticing Michael was getting hyped and the creepy hippie was trying to hook up with random guys.
Peter Peter Hughes, whom I regret to admit I had not heard of before, preformed an excellent set of music in the same vein as several of my favorite musicians. This when I noticed boy with the awesome hat, who offered me some lovely whiskey. I hadn't noticed he had offered Michael the bottle as well, and would have objected had I known. Michael can drink a good amount of beer, but following it with strong whiskey was probably not the best choice. He of course, was too drunk to realize that. Michael is drunk and the stinky hippie is nowhere to be found.
Not that I minded the last part.
After the awesome Mr Hughes performed, I spoke to John who is far more charismatic and genuine then I could have imagined. He too noticed Michael was drunk, and encouraged him to hold off for a bit. This is probably around the time I starting handing over our Pabst to John, with the intention of running out before "I'm-not-drunk!" Michael could find them.
I loved the set and was thrilled by the performance as a whole, as well as hearing a few songs I really enjoyed. I chose to skip the last song, in favor of some fresh air and sat outside on the deck rail. Not too long after, Michael found his way to me. I had been drinking, so I don't really remember when boy with the hat, camera guy or the strange Russian girl who slept in our tent showed up, but John soon came to join us as well, and I continued to shove beer into his lap.

I believe this is when things went from being typical, to really strange.

I had already been sitting outside at the fire when everyone began to gather around the fire. I was freezing cold and pretty drunk by this point, and content to be in New York amongst other happy/drunk people. When Michael wandered over, Colin had begun to play thus sparking a sing-a-long. Not too soon after John came out to correct Colin and played "How to Embrace a Swamp Creature", a favorite of mine. Having seen the video I didn't know was recorded then, I find it mildly amusing that Michael & I are pretty much the only people visible besides John.

After John retired and the group began to die down, I wandered back to the tent to sleep off the drunk, leaving Michael behind. Upon returning to my tent, I found the random Russian girl sleeping and listening to the nutcracker on repeat. I crawled up in my flimsy sleeping bag and tried to ignore the nutcracker hell and snoring hippie outside. Maybe a half hour or so after I fell asleep, Michael found his way back to the tent and collapsed beside me.
I went back to sleep, and a half hour later awoke to him getting up. Or so I thought. Still drunk and practically sleeping, he tried to stand up and was prevented from doing so by the tent. Completely unaware, he decided his sleeping bag and pillow were as good of a place as any to relieve himself, and began pissing everywhere.
Still in nutcracking bliss, I think the Russian girl was oblivious. I started yelling and trying to find my glasses. Almost immediately after he decides to lay right back down, and despite being nearly blind I grab the wet stuff and throw it outside. Sober, wet and really annoyed I grabbed my backpack, glasses and left him my own sleeping bag then headed back to the hippie's car, wanting desperately to change and sleep. Instead I froze my ass off for 6 hours until the sun rose using a dirty beach towel and the dirty hippie's sweater as blankets. Giving up on even trying to sleep, I fixed my makeup, rested my head against the window and tried to ignore the fact that I had forgotten my cigarettes in the tent and did not want to go outside, no matter how badly I needed nicotine. Not even 15 minutes later Michael arrived, having searched the farm looking for me, with very little memory of the night before after leaving the fire. So with less then an hour of sleep, I began day two of ZoopII.

The flaky hippie tells me it is imperative that we leave after the show, for some ridiculous reason he hadn't disclosed previously. I have to tell strange Russian girl [who won't make eye contact with me anymore, probably was awake] that we can't stay again, like we originally had said we would and should we have to find someone else to crash with. I'm pretty sure at this point, she hates us. She said something in Russian, walked away and I never saw her again.
Hippie is being flaky and complains of a headache all morning. I tell him to sleep all damn day if it means he'll be ready to drive all night. At this point I'm slightly irritable, and the vegan jerky which I consumed pounds of in my drunken haze was tearing my stomach apart. So, I had the breakfast of champions. Warm, flat beer and a cigarette.
We relax near the tent for a bit and clean up, packing up whatever we wouldn't need. Hippie continues to be an annoying drag and I decide not to drink again.
An epic adventure lasting us a few hours resulted from wandering in the woods stoned and following a stream wanting to find a river/lake to swim in. By this point I'm mildly hallucinating from dehydration, exhaustion and lack of sleep/food [& am convinced something in the forest wants to eat me]. By the time we get back to the farm, the hippie has gone from annoying to risking a fist sandwich and we ditch him. Wanting to swim even more, we go into the Watkin's Glenn town with the intention of exploring the local "gorge" with Colin and his girl.
Having been upstate countless times, I had been looking forward to a river, dam, or lake and was highly disappointed to find a man-made hiking trail of stacked stale rocks which resembled a sewer drain more then a swimming area. At some point Colin went off to get a tattoo. I'm further into my exhausted haze and the people working in the tattoo shop make me nervous, having more fingers then teeth, overalls and a thick hick slang [they too may want to eat me]. By this time I'm out of cigarettes and smoking potent pure tobacco, which gives me a head rush every time.
I convince Michael to get ice cream, and we sat in the creepy town while Silent Hill-like alarms went off on seemingly 15 minute intervals, driving into my head like a rusty nail.
At some point we found Colin and headed back to the farm. With the hippie nowhere in sight, we sat in on the Q&A, where I discovered John was a metalhead and gained new admiration for him.

Before John began the request set, the hippie was passed out in his tent with his feet protruding. I then proceeded to dump all my empty cans from the night before into his tent. I'm not sure why, probably because he was "That guy" who wasn't enjoying Zoop and generally being a jackass to us the entire time [partly because I was pretty delusional at this point]. The entire show was excellent, and I loved every second of it. After California Song, Michael and I said our thank yous and good byes to everyone.
An hour or so later we were on the road headed home. Michael had already passed out in the backseat, and I faded in and out in the passenger seat. The stinky, lame hippie was driving.
I'm going to stop here and briefly explain that I had lost my license almost 6 months prior to ZoopII, and hadn't driven since then. It was intended that Michael would trade off with the hippie half way.
45 minutes into the drive, I felt the car drift off the road and vibrate loudly on the grooved embankment. For a brief second I felt the headlight brush the guardrail and immediately woke up and demanded he stop the car. I love Michael dearly, but you couldn't wake him if the car was on fire and upside down. Once he's asleep, he's dead to the world.
So I got behind the wheel and attempted to ignore an oncoming anxiety attack. In order to prevent myself from falling asleep in my extreme state of delusion and exhaustion, I blasted the only cd we had, a 20+ song burn mix of old, rare or live tMGs songs. I had not eaten, slept or drank anything besides beer in two days, and had run out of cigarettes/tobacco before we left. Unable to locate our directions or map, I drove 6 hours in the dark by memory alone, convinced I was driving a spaceship down the Mass turnpike.

All in all, ZoopII was probably the most metal experience of my life.

Located on my blog: a sappy lovestory about me & the Mountain Goats

I sat down to write something about how I'm a sappy useless tool piece of shit who talks shit on the internet & then blogs about musicians who he really loves, but would like to stop having dreams about on a nearly nightly basis.

For serious, I'm sick to death of hearing [in dreams] that I am to be presented a complete recording of both Zoop concerts. For those of you who dont know, Zoop is an event held by John Darnielle & Farm Sanctuary East in Watkins Glen, New York. It's a wonderful two night event in which you get to camp out on a farm sanctuary & take in the scenic NY landscape & learn about the animals on the farm by day & by night be rocking out to the Mountain Goats. John has stated somewhere that he plans on doing Zoop every other year, so that means the next Zoop is in 2011[but heres to hoping.]

Okay, so here's some zoop history.
The first Zoop was held June 16th & 17th of 2007. Zoop II was June 13th & 14th of 2009. There is a recording out there that exists of both nights of Zoop 1, however it has yet to surface. On the internet archive [archive.org] there is a recording of the entire set from the second night & 1/3rd of the set from the first night. Why this is personally sad to me is because well, when I went to Zoop I got drunk the first night & while it made me have a more social & fun time it did make me forget what was played that first night. Thankfully the internet is there with the setlist & it legit makes me cringe to think I forgot about that. But that's that, it's been almost three years now, I feel like I'll never get to hear the songs played on the first night of the first Zoop again, unless I listen to other recordings of them. But I dont want to. I want to listen to them. I want to hear what I personally experienced, I suppose.

On the first night of the first Zoop the lineup was
Perry Owen Wright
Peter Peter Hughes
the Mountain Goats [John Darnielle solo for the most part, Peter Hughes on vocal bass.]

On the first night of the second Zoop the lineup was
John K Samson
Peter Peter Hughes [Note: I'm going to go off about this set later in the entry.]
the Mountain Goats [again, Solo.]

Night two of Zoop has always been a solo all request set. The first year John set up an email address people could mail in their requests to. Basically the idea was you'd pay a certain amount for a certain song era & you'd have that to pick from, the proceeds all going directly to Farm Sanctuary. Since they're letting you stay there, this is most definitely one of the best ways to donate if you're not someone who's all about the cause. The second time around John didnt have time to set up an email address so he brought a large pad of paper out during day 2. basically you wrote down what song you wanted to hear & how much you'd pay for the song. I'm pretty sure golden boy went for something unbelievable, I really would like to know that total, as the initial price on it was something like $100 & people kept just throwing money up there when they heard something they liked. It was really a very excellent experience.

Lets talk about Zoop II night 1 for a second shall we: I was so fucking hammered that I made Zoop look like House Party 2, this was Zoop II & I was belligerent! Excellent. & now, in true Zoop fashion, I'm just going to forget to tell you about this part for a while.


I will tell you that once we finally got there we started drinking & listening to music inside our tent, as the night went on & everyone got ready I was about 12 beers deep & feeling great. Eventually I had a discussion with John that I dont even really remember anything about despite the picture we took together, in which you can tell I am already that drunk. My girlfriend has an excellent story I've been kicking her to write about Zoop II as she came with me this time around. It really was a nightmare to be around me, I suppose. I'm sorry.

Either way, John K played & it hit home for me as the first song he played, "I hate Winnipeg" was a song that was introduced to me by a late friend, who coincidentally died a month after the first Zoop. It kind of went from being one of those nights where all is right with the world to one of those nights where coincidence hits hard & you're hammered. I stayed seated for that one song, mostly because I was drunk & I felt the urge to just keep moving, I guess it was because my mood went from mindbendingly positive & happy to depressing nostalgic mess. I thankfully battled this, I'm actually kind of sure that's when I ended up talking to John, but since I'm just now piecing it together & writing about it it's going to be a little disjointed.

I fought my way out of thoughts that werent meant for Zoop & managed to have a good time, I decided to stop drinking until John went on, at the behest of John & my girlfriend. That plan went well, until the fateful moment in which Drunk Will handed me his bottle of 100 Proof Ol' Grandad because I was one of the only other people dancing during Peter Peter Hughes' set. Now, I'm just going to outright say that while I do long for the complete Zoop bootleg, I would die happy just hearing Peters set again. I mean that, for real. Either way, I drank a lot of that whiskey, because I was drunk to the point of not tasting a damn thing. Which can also account for the mass amount of vegan jerky I ate despite the terrfying aftertaste. Sorry guys, I know vegan food can rule, but keep jerky to the carnivores, pleez.

John played a great set. He always does. He's amazing, the true messiah. Oh, yeah. I was really drunk too so you can imagine I not only missed out on remembering the rarities he played, but managed to consistently try to harmonize [poorly] with the songs while dancing & generally being that guy. Apparently there was an accapella No Children somewhere in there, which definitely sounds awesome in my book. Anyhow, after the set, like always there was a bonfire & John came out to tell Colin Pound he was playing a song of his completely wrong. Theres a youtube video for this moment, it's very dark, but you can still see me & my girlfriend directly on the right of John.

I managed to stay up for a bit longer, singing & dancing & being drunk, then I went to the bathroom a nearly shitpissed myself. I'm pretty sure I missed the toilet, but hey I TRIED TO CLEAN IT UP. I aint no Tucker Max shitting all the way across a hotel lobby & shit. Immediately following this debacle I exit the toilet, having cleaned myself up to an extent I ran into PPH who I ended up talking to in the bathroom, belligerent ass blacked out drunk about how his set was amazing & how my best friend had died the same year as Zoop but since Zoop was so awesome it kept my memories positive & a bunch of dumb drunk asshole bullshit. I then proceeded to pass out in the tent.


I'm leaving the rest of the story to my girlfriend. Let's hope she writes it sometime soon.